Star Wars: The TV wars
by Emerald the Warrior Princess
Summary: super-duper random... The characters of SWTCW fight to become the center of TV shows... In other words they create TV shows and try to stay at top of the Top 100 TV shows list, so yeah. *coughs* Disclaimed and please do not flame.
1. The news

**(A\N Most. Random. Fanfic. I ever. Wrote O_O Please don't delete this, creaters of FFN!)**

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Asajj straightend her papers at her desk. "Asajj and Grevious," Dooku said from behind the camera. "You're on in 3... 2... 1."  
"Hello you hidious weaklings, welcome to the 8 o'clock news, I'm Asajj Ventress and this is my co-anchor General Grevious." Grevious smiled stupidly and waved. "Well," Grevious began. "There really isn't really much to report except that people are still angry at George Lucas for selling Star Wars to Disney and cancelling it." People booed in the background and shouted er... things about Disney. "And here is Darth Sidious-slash-Palpatine with the weather."

"Well," Sidious-slash-Palpatine deadpanned. "It's going to be rainbows and sunshine in both the FanFiction and FictionPress area, and majorly rainy and depressing in the RealityVille area. Back to you, Asajj." The camera pointed back to Asajj.  
"And this is breaking news: Coraline has retired to the bahamas with TPSS's funds. If you see her please report her to the Sanity Police."

***somewhere in the Bahamas***

Coral did a spit take as a mugshot of her appeared on TV. "_&%#_!"

***back at the Studio***

Asajj continued as if Coral had not did a spit take and stuffed a flamethrower down her furry bra somewhere in the Bahamas. "And now here is Sky Delgado with the Sports."  
Sky Delgado was wearing jeans and a shirt that said "_**Property of Skyrela Tano**_" and a big fat grin on her face. "Well, I'm not sure if the Star Wars universe has sports, so I'll just make up a few! DroidBall is becoming a big hit, so if you find any Droid parts you can use them as a soccerball! Back to the bald freak and the robo-loser."

Asajj and Grevious: **T_T**

"And that's it for today's Reports."

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Obi-wan turned off the TV with a wide eyes. "SINCE WHEN DO THEY GET THEIR OWN NEWS CHANNEL?!" He complained. Anakin came in with a concerned expression. "Uh, Obi-wan, are you alright?"  
"No," Obi-wan replied with his arms crossed. "Asajj and Grevious got their own news channel."  
"Well, why not talk to the council about starting a TV show? No one cares for the news anyways." Anakin said.

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**(A\N *Sighs* Next chapter: Obi-wan hosts auditions for his new soap opera.)**


	2. Soap opera

**(A\N Well, here's chapter 2. Please hold your stuffed teddy bear close for it is your only way to keep your sanity XD P.S. If you're wondering what the "Book Cover" is, it's color bars.)**

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Obi-wan, The council, and 3 FF authors sat at a loooong table and trying to agree on who would play the part of who. "SARAH ANGELO!" Obi-wan called. A bright, happy-go-lucky teen skipped onto the stage. Her audition was actually amazing. Well, until Emerald.H went into a coughing fit. "Sorry. Cold." Skyrela Tano passed her a fresh box of tissues, knowing she was going to need it, big time.  
"Next is..." Mace Windu read the name and then went bug eyed. "Seriously?! Achillies?" Achillies walked on stage looking PO-ed and he was wearing a T-shirt that said "_**Property of Ghastly Bloody Blade**_".

***10 minutes later***

The judges wiped tears from their eyes. "That was _beautiful_..." Obi-wan whispered. Achillies nodded and headed towards the ship that crashed into the temple the day before. Emerald.H turned to Ghastly. "Do you also buy your _ships _in bulk?"  
"Yep!"  
"Cool..."  
The jedi shook their heads at the 3 FF authors (quite sadly, I might add) and looked at each other. "I think Achillies should get the part of Romeo Frost." Adi Gallia said as she re-read her clipboard. "Ms. Sarah Angelo should play the part as his ex, Sexy Sally."  
"Yeah," Anakin said, cutting in. "Sky Delgado can play-"  
"The ultra-awesome sugar plum fairy!" Skyrela (Tano) exclaimed.  
"Uh... Sure."

***1 week later***

Obi-wan wiped away tears as "The dumb and the stupid" went off.  
"Next on "The dumb and the stupid"," the stupid narrator said.  
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!"  
"Well, the clown needed to die." ***shows dead clown***  
Obi-wan gasped. "AND THAT'S NEXT WEEK! WAAAAAAH!" Anakin walked in on Obi-wan throwing a tantrum and using his lightsaber to cut everything in half. "Dude, what is your problem now?" he asked.  
"There won't be another episode till next Monday!" Obi-wan cried as he swung his lightsaber around. Anakin slammed his head into a wall. "_You're _the director of the show, you _idiot_!"... "Oh."...

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**(A\N LOLz! P.S. Am I the only one who thinks "The Three Muskateers" whenever I see Emerald.H, Ghastly Bloody Blade and Skyrela Tano in one chapter? XD)**


End file.
